by Dale Bond
Rohrbach Library has always been a place of peace and quiet for students to read, study, and socialize softly. But no more!
The Rohrbach librarians, once known for their whispered words, are reportedly running around and shouting in the library as of late, disturbing students and undermining the whole hushed philosophy of the library.
“They’re running amok,” Karen Deysher, a graduate assistant at the library, said Monday afternoon.
“Something needs to be done,” another student remarked.
One librarian even took the rowdiness to the extreme, donning gangsta garb and laying down some fat beats. Karen Wanamaker, now calling herself MC Kwanamak, released her first single today, entitled “The Rohrbach Rap.”
The music video for “The Rohrbach Rap” has already reached a million views on YouTube. Librarians everywhere are catching the sick beat and wreaking havoc in their own libraries.
“It’s an epidemic,” Bruce Jensen, multicultural support librarian, said. “We must get this under control.”
It was later reported that Mr. Jensen himself caught a case of the funky monkeys and is now getting ready to produce his own single. A rap battle is in talks between DJ Bruce Throw-Up-the-Deuce and MC Kwanamak. Check back here for all the unfolding details!
UPDATE: Check out the masses gathered to hear the rising star!
Happy April Fool’s Day from all of us here at Rohrbach Library!